Based on the 1943 Hasbro board game, this noisy, overly long dumbed-down action movie scores a #1 for the cheesiest dialogue so far this year
It’s a familiar plot: saving the earth from an alien invasion. If you want to see the genre at its best: see The Avengers. And if you want to see it at its worst, see Battleship. Well, I partly take that back. If you liked the Transformers movies, this one’s for you. The alien structures even look like transformers. Well, both live in the Hasbro universe, after all.
Friday Night Lights actor Taylor Kitsch, who already starred in one flop this year, John Carter, seems to be taking lessons this time from Russell Crowe, at least when it comes to being a whispering action hero. As usual, he looks great. Actually, everyone does. Rihanna more than adequately makes her acting debut. I’d like to see how she’d do with a better script. Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker is up against herself at the box office this weekend, since she also stars in What To Expect When You’re Expecting. Liam Neeson is her admiral-dad. Alexander Skarsgard co-stars.
This is a 3 ingredient recipe dish: eye candy; explosions; and noise. In fact, you may want to bring your earplugs. You can leave your brain behind. The Navy deserves better.
Bottom line: better to stay home and play the board game.